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Communication Toolkit for Introverts
Communication Toolkit for Introverts

Communication Toolkit for Introverts: With practical techniques optimized for introverts, find your voice in everyday business situations

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Communication Toolkit for Introverts

Chapter 2. Identify and Count on Your Introvert Strengths

 

"If summer resisted fall, it wouldn't really be summer or fall. Better to celebrate the season you're in...Especially those of your wonderful life."

 
 ---Mike Dooley, author of Notes from the Universe, http://www.tut.com

In some ways we are like a sailboat. A sailboat can have problems. These problems are like our weaknesses. There could be holes in the sails or, worse yet, holes in the boat. If any kind of hole in a sailboat is not patched up there will be trouble! Sailboats also have sails to manage their travels. Consider sails like our strengths. Sails get hoisted, trimmed, and deserve attention to be paid to how they are working and the condition they are in. If we don't pay attention to maximizing what the sails do, we can find ourselves not going anywhere, going slower than we want, or not at all.

In coming across this metaphor in my research online, it seems to be appropriate to the importance of counting on our introvert strengths...

Understanding self-reflection and how it helps


Self-reflection is conscious introspection. In our thoughts and through our talking, we examine our beliefs, feelings, and observations to improve our self-awareness.

One of our introvert preferences is to seek depth over breadth in issues and ideas. This often comes out as thinking before we speak, needing to let thoughts percolate over night or acting on specific practices, like meditation and journaling. It's likely this extra time we need to make some of our decisions that may drive some extroverts crazy.

A 1999 study's findings by Gustafson and Bennett seems to blend the best of introversion and extroversion to deduce what kind of environment might be the best for fostering self-reflection. There is no general acceptance of a definition for self-reflection, not even among researchers. There are however some simple (and some more complex) definitions.

Gustafson and Bennett define self-reflection simply as thinking over a longer period about...

How to use our love of planning to work to our advantage


Planning is a process with a range of actions: assess the current situation, set a clear goal, identify priorities and action steps, inspect what you expect, and clarify, possibly communicate a plan before implementing. There are many decisions that get made along the way of planning. Depending on what we are planning we could end up with a written plan. And of course with the plan complete, we may either want feedback or need to communicate feedback ourselves.

What is it exactly that gives introverts somewhat of an edge in this process?

There is one explanation that Dr. Debra Johnson and John Wiebe are credited with in their study of cerebral blood flow and personality. If you are interested in the study you will find it referenced at the end of this chapter. The men and women selected were close in their temperament scores. Using a positron emission tomography with 18 people they showed images of events and people to detect what areas...

Being aware of the value of natural listening capability


You are in a conversation with a co-worker. It is a conversation to help each of you complete a particular project you are tasked with as a team. You find yourself being interrupted, regularly. Your co-worker often looks away from you to acknowledge something going on or someone walking by; you find they have more interest in something other than your current conversation. Then something you say sparks your co-worker to say, "You know that reminds me…" and the conversation goes off target.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Have you found yourself more like the victim than the perpetrator with lack of luster in listening?

It is not realistic to believe that when we start to talk others start to listen. It is more likely accurate that the person we are speaking with may not be ready to listen for various reasons.

Hearing is different than listening. Unless you are hearing impaired, we hear passively, and this is usually little effort. If...

Allowing your true passion to show up in your communications


Could you have ever imagined you would "tweet" about relevant news stories or research findings that interest you? Or did you ever think you would share ideas for people to "like" on Facebook with simply writing about them? Maybe posting a discussion question or an idea in a LinkedIn group is your preference if you are online?

Many people claim that the Internet and online social media give an advantage to introverts.

Others say this communication venue gives people, including introverts, the excuse to show up differently from who they really are.

Our communications, whether online or in-person, come from both our head and our heart. As introverts, our passion to communicate comes in part from being able to be authentic, and connect with people at a genuine and often deep level.

In allowing connected communication online or person to person to develop, there are some things that might get in our way. Whether we call these things misconceptions...

Using your close connection communication habits in your work


 

"What I hear, I forget; what I see, I remember; what I do, I understand."

 
 --Old Chinese proverb, sometimes attributed to Confucius

We can hear about how to do something new, but we forget it. We remember a little more or a bit better when we read about or see some new idea in action. The best learning comes from understanding and doing the thing you wish to learn.

Yes, we see or read about an introvert's strength and we do understand. We already act in these ways with our customers, close business associates, and friends. The learning is ingrained.

In the brief discussion earlier in this chapter we found how we can use our authenticity in three specific areas to pull our passion into our communication. Now let's also bridge our natural tendencies in close friendships to the wider workplace to keep grounded and maintain energy.

When we talk with someone we have a close relationship with, we are more comfortable and less inhibited...

Summary


Our introvert strengths, like the sails on a sailboat, can help us better navigate daily communications and their challenges. With this chapter completed, you may find yourself feeling better about being just as you are. At this time you know or are reminded:

  • Self-reflection can guide our communication behavior to the advantage of all concerned

  • Self-reflection leads to self-awareness, which is particularly helpful in negotiations and conflict management

  • Self-awareness puts us in touch with our emotions, other people's emotions, and our actions

  • Planning is integral for success to every one of the key essential business skills that most of the content of this book is about

  • While our brain is wired to be a brilliant planner, we often need to be flexible to take what we have and go into a situation with confidence in our preparedness

  • Our introvert tendency is to listen more, which gives us actual practice to hone this central skill

  • Crucial to our success in business, or life, is to fuel our...

Thoughts to contemplate


Just like paying attention to the holes in the sails of a sailboat, when we focus on our strengths to build our weaknesses we can usually expect better results.

It is actually in our strengths that we build upon any weakness and if need to pull that strength along side to do it.

As you reflect back on this chapter about the introvert strengths that can help you achieve better results in your everyday business communications, ask yourself these three key things:

  • How has your belief or disbelief of commonly stated introvert myths helped you or hurt you in your everyday business communication?

  • Out of the many strengths cited in this chapter, or even different ones you might think of, what are the top three you feel you can count on even under stress?

  • When you think about your closest and most treasured relationships, what are the communication habits that you bring to them that boost them to that level of success? How do you see yourself pulling in those same habits to future...

Bibliography


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What you will learn

  • Discover the introvert strengths of planning, listening and self-reflection Understand how people listen and improve your own methods of listening Develop meaningful relationships and leverage them in business communications Diffuse conflicts readily and assert yourself in a calm manner Employ techniques of business communication including influence and selling to grow your skills

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Publication date, Length, Edition, Language, ISBN-13
Publication date : Dec 01, 2014
Length: 248 pages
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Language : English
ISBN-13 : 9781783000685
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Publication date : Dec 01, 2014
Length: 248 pages
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Language : English
ISBN-13 : 9781783000685
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Table of Contents

10 Chapters
Communication Preferences of Introverts and Extroverts Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
Identify and Count on Your Introvert Strengths Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
Confident to Communicate Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
Your Hardworking Wrench: Tighten or Open up Your Listening Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
Your Headband Light - Succeeding in the Business Meeting Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
Tape Measure Your Success for Powerful Presentations Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
Do You Have an Axe to Grind? Use a Positive Approach for Workplace Conflict Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
On the Level to Negotiate with Success Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
Power Tools of Influence, Persuasion, and Selling Chevron down icon Chevron up icon
Quiet Communication can Triumph Chevron down icon Chevron up icon

Customer reviews

Rating distribution
Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon Half star icon 4.7
(3 Ratings)
5 star 66.7%
4 star 33.3%
3 star 0%
2 star 0%
1 star 0%
J. Antin Apr 06, 2015
Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon 5
This is a book that every introvert who wants to be a better communicator should read. Every chapter begins with a self-assessment that even an extrovert could use. It's filled with stories of introverts who shared their experiences and how they overcame their fear of communicating. I liked the presentation chapter very much because i'm in that business myself. This a very well thought-through book that is filled with tips and tactics that will help any introvert who wants to become more confident and a more skilled communicator.
Amazon Verified review Amazon
Jacqueline Gum May 28, 2015
Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon 5
Until I started reading Patricia Weber's blog, I didn't even know I was an introvert. Apparently no one else did either! Communication Toolkit for Introverts has helped me understand my reaction to business situations that have vexed me in the past and opened up a world of new possibilities for my future. This book is formatted beautifully. Each chapter ends with a tip and a very concise summary. Salient points are noted throughout, and by doing it this way I have found that the "shouldn't forget" items stick with me. Whether you are an introvert or work with one, this is an invaluable guide for navigating everyday business situations and life in general.
Amazon Verified review Amazon
Timothy Seltzer Feb 15, 2015
Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon Full star icon Empty star icon 4
This book offers a practical, time-tested, research-based approach to improving the skill sets of the more introverted among us (myself included). In it, the author guides us to view situations in which an introvert might normally be uncomfortable, such as giving a presentation, selling a product, service, or idea to a customer or a co-worker, networking, or negotiating, as opportunities. To capitalize on these opportunities, we are advised to both draw on our inherent strengths of listening, preparing, and keeping a calm demeanor as well as strategically applying some of the elements from more extroverted individuals, including making emotional connections and sharing our genuine selves.The books opens with a discussion that leads to a fuller understanding of what introversion and extroversion are and, in the process, demystifies a number of myths surrounding each. Then, the heart of the book covers listening, participating in business meetings, giving presentations, dealing with conflict, negotiating, and persuasion. Each chapter takes a mature approach involving a clarification of terms involved, an assessment of your current skills, and (as the title suggests) a set of useful tools, tips, and techniques to improve your performance in that area. I appreciate that the author gives a bibliography of research sources to support the suggestions.Overall, I think the book is well-written and would be useful for introverts who have not mastered these skills, most likely in the first half of their careers. Additionally, I could see that an extroverted manager might benefit from a deepened understanding of introverts whom they manage, and may be able to structure the working "environment" (in the broadest sense of that term) better as a result. The only negative is that I felt there were a number of typos in the text that should have been eliminated during the proofreading process, which is a shame, because it is clear the author is a highly skilled communicator.
Amazon Verified review Amazon
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