Chapter 3 – Consolidation exercise answers
This is an example of the BAR model, whereby the background is described, then the activity that took place and finally the feedback receiver is asked an open question to encourage them to reflect on the results of the incident.
This paragraph contains multiple mind-reads whereby the giver attempts to guess what the children were thinking and feeling. The giver also uses a negative instruction at the end, saying what not to do, but without any positive guidance about how it could be better.
This is an interesting example; it isn't particularly useful feedback as it's very vague and doesn't contain any specific references to behaviors that can be repeated and strengthened. It does, however, serve well as motivational praise and for this reason has its place in a manager's vocabulary. Be clear, however, that this is a general "pat on the back", to be used as reward and acknowledgment as opposed to a development conversation.
This again is an example of the BAR model in practice and this time, the manager shares their positive feelings about the event during the feedback delivery. Although there are elements of a third-party being involved, the manager puts them across in a factual way as supporting evidence. While these models are useful structures to assist you in getting started, your mission is to use them as naturally as you can in conversation. Principles are more important than rigid structures.
This is an example of using the BAR model with an inquiry to the receiver at the end, to consider the effects of their actions. It uses a coaching style of delivery and is a good example of how coaching can be applied "in the moment" to good effect, outside of a formal coaching conversation.